Perfect Neighbors
by Dr. André Trudel

One sunny afternoon last fall, I watched my 10 year old spaniel named Trisha make her way across the field toward the house. As she got closer, I could make out something in her mouth. Trisha is a retired pheasant hunting dog that does not understand the concept of retirement. When awake, she has a single thought racing through her little head: KILL. She also probably dreams about this thought. Unless she comes home with a skunk or porcupine, I dispose of her game without much fanfare. I was curious to see what she had bagged this time. As she got closer to the house, I could see her tossing her victim in the air, rolling it on the ground, picking it up and rolling it in her mouth, then tossing it to repeat the process. The poor thing was filthy, muddy, and dripping spaniel spit.

OH NO! Trisha had killed the little neighbor girl’s pet bunny! This was a disaster. Besides breaking her heart, this might ruin our close friendship with the neighbors. After putting Trisha away in her kennel, I started thinking about my options. Being a typical male that is panicking in the face of a stressful situation, the truth is just not an option. I brought the bunny into the bathroom and started filling the tub. After shampooing and rinsing bunny from nose to tail, I got him nice and fluffy with the hairdryer. Except for the dead part, he’d never looked handsomer. I then ran over to the back of the neighbor’s house and opened the bunny’s cage. I made a small indentation in the straw, gently placed the bunny with eyes closed in the fetal position.
A perfect plan! The neighbors would come home and discover that bunny had died in his sleep. I then buy a replacement as a gift.

That evening, the dreaded call from the neighbors came. Instead of sadness or anger, I was surprised to hear an excited voice: "You’ll never believe what happened today! You’ll never believe it! Our little bunny did a Jesus!".

"Did a what?" I replied.

"A Jesus! Bunny died last night and we buried him behind the barn. Today when we came home from work and school, it was back in the cage with the door locked. How can this be?"